I was the girl who would surround herself with people. Nothing was worse than spending a Friday or Saturday night alone. So I would call, plan, and arrange for social gatherings every weekend.
I was the girl who always needed music in the background…whether I was driving, studying, sleeping, working out, cooking, or cleaning. The thought of silence was terrifying. So I would be sure my ipod was charged and had the latest music.
I was the girl who couldn’t go to the bathroom alone. So I would work to convince another girl, even if I knew her for just a few minutes, to join me on the journey toward the porcelain gods.
I hardly know that girl anymore. I believe Friday nights curled up with a book can be more refreshing than any social gathering. I believe a person who constantly has music on is a person who is too scared to be in their own thoughts. I believe the walk to the bathroom is still incredibly awkward, but necessary for any girl to be considered a woman.
I often write about the necessity of friendships and good community. But not tonight. Because, I believe there’s something beautiful about solitude. One grows as he or she experiences something alone. One can be recharged as they exit the social scene for a few moments. I carved my own Halloween pumpkin alone. I drove 11 hours in my car alone. I went to a coffee shop and sat at a table alone. And it was lovely.
I still believe other people make life rich, difficult, and rewarding. I still believe other people force you to be unselfish and engage in things outside of yourself. I still believe we were made to live this life with other people, deeply connected in relationships.
But tonight, I’m declaring that being alone is necessary. Independence is rooted in moments of solitude. Faith grows in the desert. Confidence stems from growing accustomed to awkward alone moments. So, spend a day in silence. Turn off your phone (not silence, actually power off). Stay in the house on a Saturday night. Say ‘No’ to your friends. Think. Write. Dream. Run. Pray. Sleep. Dance. Bake. Read. Sing. Reflect. Paint.
Simply. Be. Alone.
And as you sit all alone, may you come to learn that you’re never actually alone. Despite your situation, your beliefs, your relationship status, your circumstances, your past…you are not alone. There is One who will be with you to the end of the ages. And He is enough.
One thought on “alone”
Love this, Miss Hilary 🙂 Miss you a million and thank you for writing your heart!